Sometimes I just don’t know why people say love is blind, but I don’t blame those who say that because they blind themselves from what their heart is seeing.there is a human that has a heart, mind, body, and soul, the body and soul helps to live, the mind helps the body to navigate and the heart helps the mind to choose what the heart is saying so what are you saying sis?
Am that one girl who doesn’t just fall in love, it takes like years to catchup when it comes to love matters.so I meet this cute guy for the first time with the girls, he dropped me off and became very close, mind you to fall in love with him was the least of my worry because he wasn’t my type but sorry because every girl falls in love with the guy he’s not her type until she becomes a woman.haha
Sooner than later, we became friends and closer than the other guys I met on that day. I think we became close because we were both free to express ourselves without any fear or panic and to me, it was a great quality of a guy, little did I know he’s suffering from victim mentality syndrome but before I dig deep let see the meaning of victim mentality.syndrome
What is the victim mentality?
Victim mentality is an acquired personality trait in which a person tends to recognize or consider themselves as a victim of the negative actions of others, and to behave as if this were the case in the face of contrary evidence of such circumstances.
However, there are genuine persons who are victims over circumstances beyond consideration but still not unrepairable.
He had actually informed me about the circumstances surrounding the death of his mum and dad, trust me never feel pity for other persons lost only when they are pitiable by genuine reasons because some seek pity just to be the victim to attract attention and care with their own agenda to drain you emotionally.
We became friends and gradually I developed some love for him but mind you there were a lot of red flags.how do you describe a guy who makes women cry and boost with it. crazy huh?
what are the victim mentality symptoms?
You can bear witness that when someone really loves and care about you, he or she respects you, your opinion, and never hesitate to settle difference but with him, it was rather the other way round. he always wants to play the victim when he has even done something wrong to you, telling him to say sorry will demand him asking you to tell him why he should say sorry, at this point he is demonstrating a victim mentality.
I remember him telling me not to be friends with those girls again after a few outings together so I ask why then does he roam with the same friends because they are also friends with these same girls.
The reality is that people with victim mentality always want to take charge of your emotions so they try to evacuate all your loved ones in order to penetrate and take charge by you giving them all your attention undividedly. The idea of the victim mentality is thrown around to people who seem to wallow in negativity and force it upon others.
- placing blame elsewhere
- making excuses
- not taking responsibility
- reacting to most life hurdles with “It’s not my fault”
What causes a victim mentality?
LONELINESS: With my ex’s case, his victim mentality was as a result of loneliness from childhood, he grew up with the grandma and he was literally given everything so one’s he sense the sneer of “not getting what he wanted, he opts for victim game.
BETRAYAL: I won’t say betrayal from his past relationship because from the look of his own behavior and actions he can claim he loves you but he careless, you are less of his priority and he can live his life for days without saying hello or hi and the funny thing is, he expects you to come back and still smile as nothing has happened and when he realized that you are being strong by ignoring him, he pops up from nowhere and plays the victim even when he has rejected or refused to replay your text for days. he simply doesn’t take responsibility for anything.
How do you stop victim mentality?
SET BOUNDARIES: Some of the stigmas around a victim mentality relates to the way people sometimes blame others for problems or guilt-trip them about things that haven’t worked out.
“You might feel constantly accused as if you’re walking on eggshells or have to apologize for situations where you feel you’re both responsible, but someone doesn’t take responsibility.
In my case, I just set emotional boundaries and ignored whatever he does. the truth of the matter is that people with a victim mentality are most emotionally weak, so they experiment their weakness on others to take their strength.
So when you avoid breaking down in front of them, they feel weak and unaccomplished. I remember one time he stood me up for more than 3 hours, drove back home, and never ask or complain, neither did I allowed him to explain himself.
I invested more time with myself, hangout myself, and happy myself without worrying or complain about any of his actions and that was actually the Malachi of our breakup.
To confirm that people with a victim mentality are weak, stop complaining, don’t cry in front of them, be strong with anything they throw at you, play the I don’t care tactics, in the end, drain you emotionally because he personally confesses how strong I am, compared to his previous relationship, the truth is that they challenge you to be strong but can’t stand you when you prove yourself to be stronger than them.