DIARIES OF NOT SO FABULOUS LIFE OF KUKS
The scariest thing I have manage to face in life is being honest to myelf. It takes a big takes heart and conscious effort to tell you that : You are becoming lazy, so wakeup.
It takes self descipline to clap your chest and say,everyone is doing it but i will look up to God for in him you trust.
LIFE IS HARD BUT MAKING HONEST DECISIONS ARE DEADLY.
What stories do you tell yourself? we all tell ourselves sweet stories that we hope and believe are what we need to make our life meaningful and even make sense to those we are fighting hard to prove ourselves to.
Or maybe not!
If I get a degree or master’s, I might get a rich or good guy to date me or I should dress down a little to come to their level. Maybe stop driving and be more like this or that!
Better still you can be all that fantasy and even more with a good job, porch cars, and a take-home salary with the big fat account but still something might be missing.
One of the struggles I have been fighting all my life is to find that one thing that makes me fulfilled. To make your life a masterpiece, you need to learn how to be honest with yourself – so that you can go after what you really want.
My sister once asked me and I quote” ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU READY TO GET MARRIED SHOULD SOMEONE COME?
Initially, I wanted to form hard girls don’t cry but dude some questions can hit you mad-so I looked at her and said I am not happy.
It’s been less than a few hours since I reflected on my life, oh! Hold on a sec and for my sister to ask that question felt like God is on my business.
I started to think that, my life needs rebooting, well in a better way, RESETTING.Do you feel me?
Rumour has it that am a single-precision (like a single dollar bill or music note), jobless, and ………… well yes! or no am an entrepreneur. Maybe I need to take time to reflect.
I am being real with you reading this article, so you know that there is nothing wrong with being honest with how you feel.
Sometimes admitting to how you feel is the genius step to healing from the pain within you, yours might be betrayal, disappointment, failure, stagnation in life, or lateness in what you are believing God for and I want to encourage you that God is still in the business of answering prayers.
Admit it when you mistake
Admitting your own mistakes and owning up for a change can never be better healing to your subconscious and soul.
Sometimes, we feel right instantly but with time and rigorous reflection, you will know that you were somehow at fault. Approach the person and sincerely apologies and if he or she forgives you, praise God.
With that being said sis, there are some fellas that can’t watch you live your honest life, truth and will drag you down with them to make you feel you are the bad one.
Watch out!
Find someone you trust and open up to.
The past few weeks of my life have been nauseating, It started to feel like pudding……vomit.
I planned to record a day in my life living in a small room as a plus-size girl when the edge of resetting my wireless HP DESKTOP 2620 from my router to my sister’s own. It was a disaster.
My research took a stressful toil out of context as it took me more than 3 hours of my day and couldn’t accomplish the task. What a waste of hours! Never envisaged it.
Then I got snugged in the face by my Wi-Fi refusal to connect to my laptop to join online prayers and ended up trying to balance the house rent sheet and expenses on a wacky table for hours of an unbalanced sheet (long story)
Okay, I can manage the utter self-humiliation of sitting in front of my desk during the day. OBLIVIOUS to the fact that I have started a new WEIGHTLOSS against my birthday on the countdown.
The fact that groundnut cake, ordered by my sister was punched to my face and the swallowed saliva in my abdomen like slimy okra made by my ewe brothers.
Hey, I can handle the mild concussion that was supposed to be finished in the morning which unfortunately makes me feel like I want to reap my throat out.
Guess who I was being honest with God and yes through writing. I love to talk to God via writing because you can judge your fingers by typing what you want to but believe me. I choose what I want to hear or see on the internet and that is my honest truth.
Avoid over-thinking and self-blame.
However, what I can’t handle is intermittent fasting or eating only from 4-7 in the evening until the next day.
I over-head my two lower and upper abdomens gossiping about me in the washroom.
Rumor has it that, I have been eating my heart out by using food as my comfort since my daddy passed.
On a dare, merely to snug a free pizza by uncles of my nephew and niece.
Of course, I nearly FREAKED out when I saw my new divine numbers on the scale.
Not only was a dare like that of me rude and insensitive ……but it was a very cruel joke ( well kilograms) to behold on a person like me. Well…….ME!
I am very sure the whole kilograms were very fat LIE!
Sorry! but everyone in my house knows I have been nasty with food lately.
Had it been yummy like say 100 kilograms I would have believed it but not…………. Well, am not telling.
Hmmm! I should be the first to admit how wasted I am with my current weight, that rumour (weight) gain could have been A LOT worse. but still………….!! I just wish someone (my brothers, friends, and my Sunday school kids would have stayed off my business.
And by someone ( I also mean my online police) that me blaming and overthinking literally what I do. life doesn’t always go as we wish or plan to control, so enough of the blame game and the overthinking of every tick and dick.
you are not alone so easy on yourself with baby steps.
Know when to trust your gut
I don’t know why that girl hurt my GUT! I mean my procrastinative nature, it wasn’t my fault, it was the pieces of tilapia, fried and grilled pork that principal kuks hands gave her around 4 pm today that cause the body to refuse to accomplish today’s UNSPORTSMANLIKE behaviour for slamming me in that dodgeball “LAZINESS”.
For some funny reason, I have always believed that our minds and heart have something to do with our guts. Being honest with yourself should have a monitoring check with your gut because sometimes, it might fail or help you.
Unfortunately, I have learned that most people living are broken pieces that are looking for their kind and will do everything possible to make you feel like you are one of them.
Their insecurities can make you second-guess the authenticity of yourself, know yourself, be honest with how you feel, and always trust your gut.
Nobody knows you better than yourself so be honest with YOU!
let’s share a word of prayer: Thank you Lord for every soul that has read this article and I thank you that they have come to the realization of knowing the essence of being true and honest with themselves and with you to have space in their lives to help them fix any part that through their honesty with themselves, they will be made happy and fulfil in Jesus Name. Amen,
See you again next week.
Stay blessed.
